Sounds like a simple task, right? You wake up. Put one foot on the floor in front of the other. Stumble your way to the bathroom. Do your normal morning bathroom routine after hopefully getting a restful nights sleep. Get to the sink. Look up and there you are face to face with You. Stop and look. Stare if you must. Smile. Then say "I Love You." Listen. Look. Feel.
Ok, let's come back to reality. Most of us would never and have never done that. Saying "I Love You" to yourself in the mirror, no matter what time of the day, would be thought of as crazy, uncomfortable, nonsense, narcissistic, just plain silly. This list can go on and on. And why would I want to anyway?
And that is the question to be answered.
Because if you can't love yourself, how can you expect anyone else to. That's why. So, go on, I’m serious... don’t just sit there. Do it right now. Look into that mirror. Look at You. And say those 3 awesome words.
What was the response you got?
Crippling guilt? Embarrassment? Laughter or an internal chuckle? Or just a downright 'not happenin?'
If you think you can’t do it and it is only a thought because you really can, its only your own mind is stopping you. Deep down you don’t believe it, deep down you think you’re not worthy of your own love. Well, I have some news for you.
You are good enough. You are doing the best you can with the limited information and resources at hand. Everybody fucks up from time to time, but that doesn’t mean everybody is a fuck up forever.
If this exercise causes you discomfort, good. That just tells you then it’s worth you pushing through. If self love is not a problem for you then thanks for reading thus far and you can be on your way. Unless that is you know somebody who you think could benefit from improving their self esteem, in which case forward it on!
Stand in front of the mirror with your eyes open and say “I love you” out loud.
Then listen carefully.
Listen to your inner voice. What’s it saying? Is it mocking you? Is it sneering at you? Is it laughing its unconscious head off? Is it telling you to stop being ridiculous?
Unless the answer is, “Of course you do man and that’s because you’re so very lovable” I want you to respond by saying to the inner voice:
And then you say “I love you” again and listen to the response.
It may be well the same, so thank the voice again. That voice is part of you and that voice thinks it’s helping you. It doesn’t want you to turn into an arrogant ass or get too big for your boots and this is the only way at the moment it knows how to protect against that.
As I said above, you are doing the best you can with the information and resources at hand and that is all your inner voice is doing. It doesn’t realize there are other options because it’s always done it this way. You cannot beat that voice down be telling it to stop being ridiculous you will only strengthen it.
The same goes for situations such as public speaking or asking for a raise at work. if you get nervous and the voice inside your head starts chirping away do NOT tell it to stop being ridiculous because it will rebel even more. This is the same practice here. You are worthy. You deserve it.
You have to genuinely thank it for trying to help. Eventually if you persist the voice will get softer and softer and you can say “I love you” with less resistance and you’ll feel better about the most important person in the world, you.
If you are feeling really ballsy you could even leave a comment telling me you love yourself because we need to destroy this asinine belief that self love is the same as being conceited. It is not. Self love justifies your confidence in being able to find love in someone who compliments you for who you are, top to bottom, inside and out.
special credit in life coaching by tim brownson